maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize