And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
