I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My dick has a subreddit
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
