she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
