Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
