What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
