my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
