She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
