A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
