I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
