your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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