one might say we're banned from that church
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
dude. I can hear the air.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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