i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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