I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
