So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
