I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
