We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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