my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why are your pants in the freezer?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
