I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize