Me too!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
