I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize