Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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