porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
