Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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