So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
