Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize