as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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