I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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