kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
