Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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