it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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