FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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