the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize