he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
