mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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