Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
