i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
