Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
