I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
