i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
