We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
