Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
