Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is wine microwaveable?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
