'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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