that's an acceptable place to lick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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