And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
