Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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