Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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