this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize