so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't trust your balls anymore.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
