Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
