So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
