She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
