WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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