is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
