no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
