You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
