God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
