That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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