How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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