so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
