there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
