well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize